Happy Valentine’s Day!
What is my Valentine’s date going to look like tonight? Probably something like a plate of dinner, a glass of wine, and my boyfriend through video call on my computer in front of me. #LongDistanceRelationshipProblems
Going into a long distance relationship can be scary and confusing – how do you make this work? My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 and a half years now, with a large amount of that time being through long distance. During this time we have learned what works, what doesn’t, and how to manage the distance best for our relationships.
I’m not going to lie – long distance is hard. But, with the right mindset and right communication you can and will get through it. Today I’m excited to bring to you 7 tips on how to manage long distance relationships!
While long distance relationships are super common for college students (leaving for college and attending different schools happens a lot!), these tips can really apply to anyone entering in a long distance relationship.
Since I recently started making YouTube videos (subscribe to my channel here!) I decided to make this post into a video as well – with the help of my boyfriend! Yes, my boyfriend makes a special appearance in this video where he is sharing his own LDR tips. Check out the video here:
1. Make time for each other
When you and your significant other have different schedules (sometimes in different time zones) it can be hard to make time to talk. Communication is really the backbone of any relationship, and with technology today it is increasingly easier to communicate in a long distance relationship. Make sure to take time out of your busy schedule to text, call, and video chat with your partner.
When we started becoming long distance, my boyfriend and I set the goal to text whenever we could, have a phone call every single night, and video call at least once a week. Luckily we have been able to do a video call every single night. Sometimes, when we are super busy, these calls are just “Hi, I’m tired, I had a busy day. I love you – goodnight!” and that’s totally fine. Any sort of time set aside to communicate and talk helps the distance feel smaller.
2. Be patient
When you’re not with your S.O. it’s easy to forget how busy they can be, and it’s easy to get upset if they don’t reply to you right away. It’s important to remember that they are probably busy with work or school, or whatever they are away for, and to be patient with them. If you find it hard to be patient with your partner, try to distract yourself and start a new hobby!
3. Set an end date / visit date
Setting an end date (a date to “close the distance”) to the distance or a time when you will be able to visit each other helps the time pass a lot faster.
When you have this day to look forward to, you can spend your time planning for what you’re going to do when you see them again instead of focusing on the fact that you aren’t with them right now. This really makes the time pass quicker!
RELATED: Listen to this episode of my podcast, The Quarter Life Crisis Club, on long distance relationships:
4. Send presents
Now, I don’t mean spoiling the other person or constantly spending all of your money on them – but sending little romantic momentos every once in a while really makes a difference.
Send your S.O. some flowers when it’s a holiday or they’re having a bad day, write a letter or a card, something small and cute. If you are apart for gift giving holidays, order something to get sent to their doorstep as a little surprise.
My favorite present that I have sent my boyfriend? Last year for Valentine’s Day I got us matching bracelets that say “Love knows no distance” on them. These bracelets have meant a LOT to us! We both wear them every single day, no matter if we are together or apart, and they have really helped to strengthen our relationship.
I have anxiety, and wearing these bracelets has helped me with that a bit. When I’m having a bad day, I’m missing him a lot, or I’m anxious about something I will feel my bracelet or he will send me a picture of him wearing his bracelet and it helps me to remember that he loves me and everything will be okay.
I highly recommend these bracelets to anyone in a LDR – they’re simple, rubber, come in 3 different colors, and they’ll ship your partner’s bracelet for you to anyplace in the world. They also come in keychains if bracelets aren’t your thing.
If you’re interested in checking these out and getting one for your S.O. you can get them here! If you order, please mark at check out that I recommended you/you heard about them through me (Dani Dearest!) – It is an affiliate program so I will receive a small amount of money at no cost to you.
5. Communicate any problems you might have
This goes for all relationships, but is especially true for LDRs: when you have a problem, talk to your partner. Communicate.
Long distance relationships are hard because if you argue about anything, if there is any miscommunication, or if you are upset for any reason, you can’t just sit down and talk it out. When you mostly rely on text messaging, it can be difficult to portray your real emotions through texts and not actions. Don’t play games, don’t lie, and don’t hide things or else it’s going to make things a lot more difficult on you in the long run. Be honest and up front about how you feel – always.
6. Share your daily lives
How are you doing? What did you do today? Did anything funny/weird/strange/unique happen today? Share it all.
With my boyfriend traveling on tour right now, he is in a different location every day – often an entirely different state. He always makes sure to send me pictures of the cool sights that he sees and shares his experiences at each stop along the way. This helps to feel like I am a part of his daily life and like the distance isn’t that big.
7. Set aside special dates
It may seem silly, especially if you talk every night like we do, but setting aside times to be “date time” instead of just normal “talk time” is really important.
When my boyfriend has access to a kitchen, we like to cook the same meal and sit down to each it together. Another fun one is to press play on the same movie or TV show at the same time and watching it together. Setting aside these times to be alone and have little virtual dates help to make your relationship feel romantic and special – despite the distance.
I hope those tips help you and your significant other get through the distance together!
If you’re in a long distance relationship – what tips do you have? Share them in the comments below!